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Avoid Negative Self-Talk
I’ve never known anyone who is ALWAYS positive and upbeat ALL the time. But I do know a few people who are much more commonly positive and who, almost invariably put a positive spin on almost every situation in their lives. More-so than myself, that’s for sure. The point is, these positive people, despite me wishing to smack ‘em upside the head sometimes for being so positive, seem to me to have better lives than the average joe.
Shall we analyze why?
Negative self-talk is the mental habit, with verbal reenforcement, of “taking away” rather than “giving to”. For the MOST part negativity is unproductive and distorted. Why? Because it is usually based on downward spiraling “What-ifs”… NON-facts created by the imagination. It is lacking in productive, progressive, forward “motion” and by it’s very nature puts the breaks to whatever would constructively get you toward your goal. I am not talking about the give and take process of brainstorming. I am talking about the unimaginative stick-in-the-mud attitude that has no positive counter-balance.
I’m sure that you’ve heard it before. “You get what you focus on!” When you think about it, this is a self-evident truth. You’re not going to end up with an ice-cream cone if you are constantly thinking of a rock! You aren’t going to end up with positive things in your life if you are constantly thinking of negatives. Nothing magical, here!
Most people know to what I am referring and many are very frustrated with the constant barrage of their own negative self talk. I have a quick and easy solution for you. A cute little trick!
Buy yourself a “negative thought counter”. You know those shiny little chromed counters that they use to count people going through a gate at a concert or event? Nope… those aren’t “people” counters. They’re negative thought counters! Buy one for yourself (I’ve even seen them at a “dollar” store once) and put it on a lanyard and hang it around your neck. Every time you find yourself in an onslaught of negativity, click the counter for each and every negative thought that you have! Very often the problem with negativity arises because we can’t “catch” ourselves. We become less mindful and attuned to what we are actually thinking. What the negative thought counter does is help make you aware of these negative thoughts. Sure enough, over a short time you will CATCH them and they start to become fewer and fewer. I guarantee, this alone will make you a happier person!
Add Positive Self-Talk!
We’ve talked about reducing your destructive and time-wasting negative self-talk. But along with the normal stream of mundane, day-to-day “processing” thoughts you NEED to introduce a stream of Positive, RAH RAH!, self-promoting, “I can DO this!… of COURSE I can do this!” self-motivating thoughts!
Don’t be afraid of being egotistical. There are two sides to the “ego coin”. One side is the “I’m on top of the world today and feeling good. Nothing can stop me now!” type. And the other is the, “I’m better than he is, and I deserve more… I’m gonna get mine!” type. The second type is “egotistical”. It usually focuses on ME, ME, ME and has nothing to do with oneness, fitting in, or self improvement. On the other hand, positive ego is never ME, ME, ME and yet still recognizes your divine deserving nature! It FEELS healthy and promotes a good feeling in others around you. It is wonderfully contagious.
Positive self-talk will pump you up and promote positive, healthy ego giving you the energy to act on your goals.
One of the simplest and most useful tools to promote positive self-talk are… wait for it! Yep, you guessed it… sticky notes. It is important that you constantly reenforce your intentions with goal-affirming, positive thoughts, many times a day, over and over. You do not want to allow time during your day for negativity to enter! So… up go the sticky notes!!! Start with your bedroom ceiling! (Of course you’d need larger placards for that!) “My Day Will Be as I Make it! Start Today with a Great Attitude! Focus on Your Goals!”
Maybe draw a smiley face on the bathroom mirror with lipstick with the words, “remember to smile”!
It is ABSOLUTELY important, however, to make the words and phrases your own! It is important that what you read each day, the words that are drilled into your head, are of your own creation, of your own intention, NOT some trite, clichéd, affirmations of mine or anyone else’s! Change them regularly, switch it up! Keep things fresh.
Keep a new internal dialogue going! Wow! Talk about “what-ifs”! What could you do with POSITIVE what-if dialogues and scenarios running through your head!!??
Namaste, everyone!